Tears Withheld

Standing upon the swirl of the living, I have to ponder the isolation that human begings have created for each other. Through fear, which causes hesitation, everything to hinder the connection so deeply yearned for with each other. Have I skipped too many rocks? Hopped over too many cracks? Have I stopped so often to smell the roses that I got lost from the crowd? To suddenly find myself alone in the boat, floating upon the vast sea of humanity...where is everyone?

I was enjoying the moment, breathing in the freshness of life. Then, one day I found myself separated by an invisible barrier that keeps fellow humans from reaching me, touching me. Who would dare? Why won't one dare???

For a little while the world was peaceful and fun, but without another to share the wonder with even the present joy is missing a type of shine. I miss having someone to share the wonder with. Everyone is busy, occupied, scheduled, or consumed. Should I get off this path? Find a more crowded road? Seek the crowd and emerge myself within the middle of it all? Will that help? When was the last time I felt a regular sense of involvement with others? I have forgotten.

In seeking the wisdom of the ages, I have found the truth of the living. Living is about sharing and combining with another, or others. Wisdom is connection. Then, I find moments that remind me of that deepest connection...and then I realize what I am missing. I am reminded why I want to live...here...among this world of the living.

      The other day I found a fellow creature who came to me...dared to touch me in the only way it could...through a glass enclosure. But it connected with me!! Wanted to connect...wanted me to connect....and for that moment, I felt complete, not alone, embraced, and felt recognized. A sniff through a glass...a nose pressed against my hand. A reminder that the world, the cosmos has not forgotten me. If not through another human being, than through its creatures that live beyond the assumed.For that small while I was able to remember and the tears I hold within fell away to be replaced with only bliss.

Life...the world. What is it to live. Really live? I want to learn to do that without having another, yet I continue to find that I enjoy living more when there is another to share with. What have I done?! I chose people in my life who can't share, don't want to combine, or are too flawed to naturally find the unity of a breath. Those that can are far away, oceans away, miles away...those that can't are under my nose. I have chose this dilemma, I realize this. My own fear has created my cage.

But....

I have never, will never, and avoid all cages that try to trap me...so this cage (of my own making) I will also break free from. Adventure....that is the key to unlock any door of limitation. Don't you agree??